


Eating Chicken Drinking Snapple

by Bonymaloney



Category: The Aquabats! Super Show!
Genre: Awkward Romance, Bad Jokes, Fluff without Plot, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Wireplay, M/M, NOT I repeat NOT mpreg, Robosexuality, Shotgun Wedding, Sick Character, implied comeplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 13:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14770770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonymaloney/pseuds/Bonymaloney
Summary: It was, scientifically speaking, adorable.





	1. Chapter 1

The Professor stepped out of his laboratory, rubbing his tired eyes at the sudden change in light levels. Four anxious faces peered up at him through their masks, and he chuckled softly before beckoning. 

“Commander, step this way please. I need to speak to you alone...”

He was mildly surprised when the Commander leapt to his feet and followed him without question. Perhaps he still retained some trace of authority. But the Commander was hardly one to hide his emotions at the best of times, and with one look Monty could see that his urgency was due to the fact that he was utterly terrified. 

“It’s Jimmy, isn’t it? Is he dead? Is that why you brought me here alone, so Crash wouldn’t get all emotional and wreck up the lab, is that it?”

“Commander. Jimmy is fine. He’s in his charging station, right there. You can see him.” 

Instantly, he was beaming through his grief. His emotions had always turned on a dime; but it made them no less real, and the genuine tenderness, relief and downright sappiness with which he now regarded Jimmy were easy to see. The Professor sighed and pinched at the bridge of his nose. The fact that messy feelings were involved was going to make this conversation so much harder...

“I need to talk to you about why Jimmy malfunctioned the way he did.” The Bat Commander was glancing idly round the lab, having stopped paying attention once he’d heard what he cared about. “As it turns out, you are the one to blame. Ah-ah!” He held one finger up to forestall the inevitable protest, then faltered slightly. The next part was going to be... awkward. 

He took a deep breath and took refuge in science. 

“I’ve had your DNA, along with that of the other Aquabats, on file, ever since the first set of experiments. And when I was examining Jimmy just now I found large quantities of a certain... residue that was corrupting his pristine internal environment. Residue containing your DNA. Although I wasn’t exactly surprised; I wouldn’t have expected it of any of the others... perhaps Ricky... be that as it may. Observing it under the microscope confirmed that it was, in fact, your semen. Your... come.”

The Commander grinned at the floor, blushing to the tips of his ears. “Well, the thing with the wires, that was mostly Jimmy’s idea...” he began bashfully. 

“I’m not interested in that!” Although he was, just a little. “How could you be so stupid... haven’t you heard of using protection?”

“Well yeah, but like... what am I gonna catch off’ve Jimmy? A computer virus? Hah!” The Commander laughed loudly at his own joke, a habit of his which the Professor never failed to find irritating. 

“He’s the one that needs protection. From you!” 

His face went white. “Are you saying... have I knocked him up?”

“You’ve _gunked_ him up, you fool! It’s taken me forever to clean up all of his connections. I was appalled by the sheer quantity... never mind... the point is.” He took another deep breath. “The point is, you need to take responsibility for him now. You’ve invalidated his warranty.” 

“Of course I’m responsible for him. I’m the _Commander_ ,” the Commander muttered, before rising in outrage as his brain caught up with his ears. “Hey, wait a minute. What warranty? You mean you woulda sent him back?” He was glaring at the Professor, fists clenched, and although he usually had the attention span of a gnat, being the subject of his focus was surprisingly unnerving. Monty could see that behind the years and the layers of pizza and Slushis, the young hothead who had risked his life on the ocean to fight to protect his family and friends was still very much present. 

The desire for self-preservation warred with scientific honesty. 

“Once, I might have done. Not now. You might have noticed, I just spent several hours of my valuable time cleaning and repairing him. Once he’s recharged, he’ll be as good as new. But the fact remains, he’s a delicate piece of equipment and you’ve put him to very... improper use.”

“Mostly it’s him putting me through improper use, but we like to switch it up once in a while...”

“I told you, I don’t want to hear about that!” Monty snapped, feeling his ears turn red, but the Commander shrugged it off. 

“I’ll make an honest robot out of him, don’t worry, Professor.” He pulled up a stool and perched, smiling fondly at the charging station where Jimmy rested. 

“You can’t stay here...”

“Yeah, I’ll stay til he wakes up. Check me out being responsible. A responsible superstud, with a _sheer quantity_... that’s what you said, right?” He waggled his eyebrows. 

“Fine, you can stay! Just stop talking like that... and put these on.”

He handed the Commander a pair of safely glasses, and his face lit up, whether at fond memories of his youth or because he had another piece of headgear to add to his collection the Professor wasn’t sure. 

“Have any powers manifested themselves yet?” he asked, trying to sound conversational and not as though he was still conducting covert research. 

“Just, y’know, the power of leadership, the voice of an angel; my usual stuff. I was pretty psyched about the firebreathing for a while, but it turns out that was just a stage thing...”

“Yes, I saw that, it was very impressive... I am proud of you, you know. Of the whole band.”

“Thanks.” The Commander smiled, and after a while he spoke again. “Hey, Prof... _Doing science, doing science, making things and breaking things..._ ”

“ _...making things and breaking things down,_ ” Monty joined in, rather pleased, on the whole, with the way the conversation had turned out.


	2. Chapter 2

When Jimmy awoke and stepped out of his pod, the Bat Commander took him in his arms and buried his face in his shoulder. Jimmy held him and stroked the back of his neck gently, and the expression on his face was one of sheer contentment. It was heartwarming yet also oddly irritating, and the Professor tried to busy himself with his work. 

Eventually they broke the embrace. 

“Jimmy... are you ok, buddy?” The Commander placed his hand on Jimmy’s chest. “So anyway... I had to bring you to the Professor, and he thinks... _I_ think what happened to you was my fault. I loved on you so hard you couldn’t walk. I’m so sorry.”

Jimmy chuckled softly. “That’s quite alright, Commander. You were merely returning the favour, after all...”

The Professor spluttered, and Jimmy seemed to suddenly realise he was there. He wasn’t capable of blushing, but the mortification in his eyes was clear to see. 

“Nah, don’t even sweat it.” The Commander dismissed him with a lazy gesture. “The Professor’s cool. He says we just need to be a little more creative when we’re getting freaky-deaky.”

“In fact, that’s almost the opposite of what I said...”

“Anyway, listen, dude.” The Commander was suddenly serious. “I’ve been thinking, and I was wondering... do you wanna swap rashguards? You know, me wear yours, you wear mine for a while?”

He peeled the blue garment up and over his head.

“By all means.”

The Commander was broad shouldered and paunchy, tan skin scattered with dark hair and battle scars, while Jimmy was tall and pale, smooth as the day he was made. It took longer than it should have to make the exchange, as the Commander refused to remove his mask and helmet and Jimmy was unable to, but eventually their uniforms were restored. Jimmy’s new rash guard was rather loose on him, while the Commander’s hands were barely visible at the ends of his sleeves. The Commander gave a nod of satisfaction, then glanced at the Professor side-eye. Whether this was in fact some Aquabanian ritual, or whether he’d just made it up on the spot, the intent behind it was clear. It was also, scientifically speaking, rather adorable. 

“That’s rad! Okay! So now we just need to figure out what we’re gonna tell the others. Can’t exactly say I broke you with my dong...”

The Professor buried his face in his hands, but as they left the lab, he was able to see through his fingers that Jimmy and the Bat Commander were holding hands.


End file.
